Pudding
by Rose Thorne
Summary: Punishment for Hiei. Self-insertation parody. This fanfic was rewritten to comply with the new rules. Plagiarism of this or any other of my fanfics will not be tolerated.


Pudding By Rose Thorne

Standard Disclaimers Apply!

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Rose smiled at the audience, her face the picture of pure insanity. "Minna-san, konnichi wa!" She glanced around as she realized she was the only person in the rather large, empty room. "I just _might_ want some company . . . considering my plans for the evening."

She snaps her fingers and a certain pair of bishounen appear. Hiei glanced around in shock, reaching for his katana, his eyes bugging as he realized it wasn't there. "Nani?!" His crimson eyes fell on Rose. "Awww, hell. Not _again_!"

Rose glowered at him. "Be nice, Hiei-chan! This is payback for the jello!"

Hiei scowled. "Hn. You deserved it. Che! Torturing me all the time!"

Kurama blinked, confused. "Jello? Hiei, what jello?" The fox glances at his companion warily.

"The green jello he threw _in my hair_!!" Energy crackled around Rose for a moment, dying down as she shrugged. "But now . . . I get my _payback_!" Hiei's eyes widened at that, and his hand itched for his katana. He nearly jumped as a doorbell rang, playing _La Cucaracha_. Rose just grinned. "Come in, minna!" Her grin widened as Hikari, Yukina2, Rin, Kichigai, and Thayet entered. Hiei's eyes widened to a nearly impossible size, and he looked around the stark room for some sort of weapon.

Thayet calmly surveyed her surroundings, immediately catching sight of Hiei and Kurama and grinning gleefully. "Bara-chan! What are you gonna do to them this time?!"

Rose snorted indignantly. "Nothing." She smirked evilly. "At least . . . not to Kurama-kun . . ."

Yukina2 grinned, immediately picking up on the situation. "So . . . What're we gonna do to Hiei-chan?"

A perplexed look passed over Rose's face briefly, and she blinked. _I knew I forgot something . . ._ "Er . . . I dunno . . . Any suggestions?"

Kichigai grinned evilly. "We could make him swim in an olympic-size swimming pool filled with pudding . . ." The rest of the girls immediately gained grins that matched Kichigai's in evilness.

Hiei took one look at their faces and decided that running was a good idea. _I have to get out of here!_ The thought of the humiliation of what the girls planned was too much for him to deal with.

He didn't get very far before Thayet grabbed him and bodyslammed him. "I don't think so." She sat, crosslegged, on his back, an amused look on her face as Hiei struggled.

The fire demon snarled as he realized that struggling was getting him no where. "Get offa me!"

Thayet grinned. "No." She snickered. "And you can't _make_ me, Shrimp."

The others watched, giggling, then returned to the contemplation of Hiei's impending torture. Hikari grinned. "I say we make him skinny dip."

Rin blinked, amused by the idea. "With Kurama-kun?"

Yukina2 frowned. "Oi! No yaoi!"

The other girls grinned apologetically, speaking in unison. "Hai . . ."

Rose scrutinized Hiei, then sighed. "I suppose we should let him keep his clothes--at least, some of them. After all . . . I don't want him _too_ mad."

Thayet grinned. "What kind of pudding?"

Everyone stared as Kurama spoke up. "Chocolate."

Hiei glared at the fox. "Traitor," he hissed.

Thayet socked him on the shoulder. "Che! He just realizes that you _deserve_ punishment!"

Hikari piped up. "And maybe because he enjoys watching." Kurama turned a bit red. Hiei snorted.

Rose grinned happily. "Now all we have to do is find an olympic-size swimming pool and a hell of a lot of pudding!"

Thayet snorted. "Yeah, that oughta be _real_ easy."

Kurama began rumaging through his hair as the girls, and Hiei, turned to stare at him. "I know it's in here somewhere . . ." He rumaged a bit more before grinning triumphantly. "Ah! Here it is! You might want to move by Thayet-chan." The girls scrambled over to mill by where Thayet had Hiei pinned, watching as Kurama pulled an Olympic-sized swimming pool from his hair and let it fall to the floor (1).

Rin stared. "Now _that_'s hammerspace!"

Kurama went back to rumaging through his hair, his tongue sticking slightly out of his mouth as he searched with his hands. "Let's see here . . . Ah ha! Here we are!" He pulled a refrigerator from his hair with some difficulty, managing to miss the swimming pool and get it to fall to the ground upright. The fox opened the refrigerator with a grin. "Here's the milk!" His hands went back into his hair as he began looking for something else. The girls watched in shock as a crate of instant pudding boxes fell from his hair to land next to the refrigerator. "Okay . . . Anything else?" Kurama snapped his fingers and searched through his hair again. He managed to pull out six huge wire wisks, setting them on the ground side-by-side.

Thayet frowned in disappointment. "I can't help. He'll run."

Kichigai pouted, her hands on her hips. "Well, _you've_ got the fun job!"

Rose blanched. "Don't tell her that!"

Thayet grinned evilly. "I can _tickle_ him!"

Hiei paled and began to struggle again. "_Hell_, no!"

Hikari smirked, her eyes dancing with amusement. "Well, Rose, you wanted to torture him . . ."

Even Kurama looked interested. "Besides, I've never heard him giggle before. I'm curious." Hiei muttered something rude under his breath and Thayet socked him again.

Rose considered it for a moment, then shook her head with a grin. "Naw . . . I think he'll leave me alone with just the threat for a while. Isn't that right, Hiei-chan?" Hiei just glowered. The girl giggled. "Next time." Disappointed groans came from the girls and Kurama. Hiei seemed relieved.

Rin grinned. "Besides . . . Hiei has to swim in there soon . . ."

Yukina2 picked up a wisk, slinging it over her shoulder. "Let's get this pudding ready."

"How many gallons of milk will we need?" Kichigai wondered.

"Four thousand, fifty-eight and a half," came Kurama's immediate response. He blushed as everyone stared at him. "I can't help it that you fic writers have an obsession with pudding, swimming pools, and me and Hiei. Why do you _think_ I keep that stuff around?" He flushed darker as Hikari opened her mouth. "Never mind." He began to open the packages of pudding. "Come help me. This'll take a while . . ."

A few hours and many, many packages of pudding later, they finally finished. Amazingly, Rose was still hyper. She bounced up, grinning. "Oi, Thayet-chan! We're done! It's ready!"

Thayet rose, grabbing Hiei and holding him out to Rose before he could try to run. "Care to do the honors?"

Rose quickly removed Hiei's cloak and boots. "Hold him still while I get his shirt off him!" Kichigai and Rin grabbed the struggling fire demon, helping Thayet hold him down as ikari and Yukina2 helped Rose get the fire demon's muscle shirt off. "Now for the pants . . ." Rose glanced at Hiei, raising her eyebrows slightly. "You _are_ wearing some sort of underwear, right?"

Hiei was silent for a moment. "No. I'm nude underneath." He glared at her, daring her to continue. "Not the pants."

Thayet sighed in annoyance. "Liar." She yanked the back of his pants down, revealing silk, navy-colored boxers, and causing Hiei to flush.

"Kawaii!!" Rose turned momentarily chibi, before becoming somewhat serious again. She yanked the fire demon's pants the rest of the way off, then grinned at her handiwork. "There! All ready!"

Hiei glared at her. "Baka!"

The brunette grabbed him, grinning. "Have a nice swim!" She chucked him into the deep end of the pool, and he resurfaced, covered in chocolate.

Hikari smirked. "Look! it's a chocolate-covered fire demon!"

Yukina2 licked her lips. "That's one piece of candy I'd eat right up!"

Hiei managed to swim through the pudding, and pulled himself out. "Oh, _shut up_!" He walked to Kurama, leaving a trail of chocolate. The fox was laughing his ass off. "Kitsune no baka." The fire demon shoved Kurama, knocking him over the edge of the pool and leaving a chocolate handprint on his chest. There was no splash, and Hiei glanced over the edge to see that a net had appeared, catching the fox before he hit the pudding. "K'so . . ."

"That wasn't very nice." Rose grabbed Hiei, letting out a long-suffering sigh. "You _like_ getting into trouble, don't you?" She tossed Hiei back into the pool, then helped Kurama up to solid ground. "Don't come out until you're ready to apologize!"

Hiei swam to the side and climbed out. "Fine. I'm . . . _sorry_." He fairly spat the word at them.

Rose glanced at her friends. "What do you think? Good enough?"

Kurama smiled, ignoring Hiei's glower. "I think that's the best you're going to get . . ."

Hikari put her hands on her hips, striking a pose. "I suppose we'll _have_ to live with it . . ."

Rin sighed. "Yeah . . ."

Yukina2 giggled. "I _suppose_ . . ."

"Besides," Kichigai grinned, "we can punish him _more_ next time!"

Thayet smirked. "Shame we can't tickle him . . ." She grinned as the chocolate-covered fire demon edged away from her.

Rose glared at her friend. "Next time, Thayet!" She turned to Hiei and grinned at him. "I accept your apology, Hiei-kun."

Kichigai looked at Kurama hopefully. "Do you have any spoons, Kurama-kun?" Everyone watched with rapt interest as the fox pulled eight spoons from his hair.

"Sugar!" Rose grinned and grabbed her spoon, brandishing it like a weapon as she bounced around hyperactively. "Shall we?"

The others grinned and joined her in attacking the pudding ravenously.

~Owari~

* * *

Thanks to Bonz-chan for the idea from her fic "The Depth of Kurama's Hair." *grins* I just _love_ that fic!

I had to rewrite this and post it because of ff.net's new policy on fics that are apparently chat-room conversations. Even though this was not one, I rewrote it so I could keep the original creation date and not get punished by ff.net. However, this does not mean that I am off my posting strike. The last day of my strike is September 16th, which is this coming Tuesday. I have one other fic to rewrite, and then I shall maintain posting silence until then.


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